This is the month of Thanksgiving. Every one's taking extra time to think about what they're thankful for and it's as though they're seeing the world through new eyes. They now see tonight's little dinner of hot dogs and french fries for the easy yet yummy meal that it is. They start to think about how all they had to do was jump into their car, drive to the grocery store, pick up the package of hot dogs, walk to the check out line and Boom magically pay for it with their magic debit card that always has money on it due to a paying job. They think about all the little orphans in Africa and Asia that don't have as much as us. They can't get over how much they take clean running water for granted... this is how Thanksgiving month (and really your whole life) should be. To look at all the blessings around you each and everyday.
Or you can spend the month of November like I have so far... constantly gripping and complaining about everything and everyone.
I don't know if it has been the weather, the sudden pain of remembering how I spent my fall last year with my mom, or just plain old blues, but I have been a tangled mess of misery all month. And it's only November 9th! I've pulled the "I'm sick of never having any good recipe ideas for dinner!" trick a few times already and have whined my way to convincing Jay it's absolutely necessary that we have hot dogs or take out for dinner. (Though I'm sure Jay would actually be quite fine if we had pizza every night whether it was home made or not, sweet as he is :) Every day is a war with my mid length hair, it's always too flat and boring for me. I want something fun.. but easy to do! I've even been looking for houses online because I'm getting stressed out with renting! Just today my neighbor came over and asked if Jay and I were having problems because she heard a lot of stomping and doors banging. Fortunately fighting with my husband is not one of the things I have to complain about :) All that noise was just us running up and down the hall with my puppy due to cold and rainy nights. She completely understood when I explained it to her but I was SO embarrassed! If I owned my own house we wouldn't have neighbors, that could hear everything, sharing our wall. I've just been very stressed with feeling obligated to my neighbor and landlord lately.
But never mind that I have a two bedroom duplex with running water, a roof, heat/air conditioning, soft cozy carpet, and above all else a Very clean feel to it.Not to mention a good neighbor that cares about us.
Never mind that I have hair to deal with or the tools with which to do so.
Never mind that I have the option to have dinner every night and that it can be whatever I want.
No, please forget all the good things and be miserable with me... Just kidding :) I've been noticing that everything I have complained about is due to me feeling like I'm stuck in a rut. We've been in this duplex for a little over a year, I've been making dinner for over a year (yes ladies I realize many of you have been cooking for WAY longer than that :) and my hair has just... well it's my hair, you're born with it :)
I keep looking forward and thinking "man when I have a house, I'll be happy!" or "when I have kids I'll like making dinner more because it will be out of love for them and I'll have more than just one person appreciating it." (Ok that one I realize is the HUGE stretch of the imagination of a non-mother :) God calls us to live in the now. To live for today. No planning ahead isn't a bad idea, and having hope for the future isn't bad either. But when I'm grumbling about the blessings I have in my life today because I want what I'll have tomorrow... well that's where I go wrong. I need to start being thankful for the things I have. Especially for my relationship with our Heavenly King. He offers me so much! Even beyond the physical blessings of this world. He offers me a real relationship where I can pour out my heart to Him and feel His peace and love. No matter how much gripping I give Him, He will always love me and be there for me... and check my heart when I need to just stop. I ran across this Psalm today and fell in love:
Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my sighing. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, O Lord, You hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. Psalm 5:1-3
Clearly my problems are not nearly as big as David's were when he wrote this. But thankfully God listens to all our pleas and cries. It is so reassuring knowing that God is there and that everything is in His control. Just place your worries, grumbles, and pains in His hands... AWWW...... Such a peaceful feeling. Do you feel it? This is peace that no money could ever bu! Even if that money bought a nice new house, a hair transplant, and cook :) God is my rock and Savior! I am SO thankful for all He has given, especially His word to live by. Thank you Jesus!